So I never really got into how radiation was.
It ended 6-5-2012 after 6 long weeks of going everyday at 8:30 am.
My raditation techs were great ppl.
They always made me feel at ease and played good music while I did treatments! =)
Each day only took about 15 minutes total but it was just annoying having to drive there and go every morning.
here is what the huge machine looks like!
I started going to Starbucks afterwards though and it became a ritual.
Radiation then my tall french vanilla soy iced latte.
Yummo!
Radiation was not as tough as it could have been.
I never really burnt. Got some blisters and was really red but no opens sores or wounds that I have heard happen.
I used lotion regularly and know that helped!
Lube me up buttercup!
Here's the damage!
After a short break after radiation finished, I just started expanding again.
You can't expand while doing radiation so it had been awhile.
Being back in pain and back at the Dr. brought me back mentally to the treatment process and pain.
I know I am cancer free now says my Doc but it's still so raw and a little undealt with.
I really need to see a psychaitrsit.
I keep saying I am gonna go and have yet to make the appointment!
I need help with meds and all of this how to be a survivor BS.
I know I should be stoked and grateful to be a survivor and I am but I almost got used to doing nothing and having everything done for me and getting a lot of attention.
I can't believe I am admitting that but it's true.
Being a survivor is very hard. Not just cuz of that but also because you did get a second chance at life and what if I screw it up? What if I don't live it to the fullest?
I feel even more guilty when I sit around and be lazy.
I'm so Debbie Downer right now!
Soooo sorry!
It's not all peaches and cream.
My mind is exploding and I haven't written in months because of it.
Anxiety does not suit a writers needs.
Gotta dust off my pen and get writing. May help me find myself again.
Know what would make me happy?
Washing some lime green jeggings in a lime green washing machine, like the one in the JCPenny's commercial.
Guess it doesn't take much.
Just gotta think happy thoughts.
xo
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