3-21-2012
Happy 2nd year anniversary to me and my amazing hubby!
It's crazy how we have had such a great 2 years. 2 kids, a beautiful family, being able to stay home with the boys, a lot to brag about!
But tomorrow is the day.
The day the "nusiance" will be taken off of me!
I have been waiting for this for 6 months...so why am I soooo scared?
Scared of what could happen.
Scared that when I put my kids to sleep that it could be that last time I tuck them in.
I know it's a very common procedure but my mind keeps going, keeps rambling, keeps running.
I don't wanna die!
Is it weird I am more scared about surgery than I am about having cancer in my body?
Anthony's dad passed away in 2004 during a "routine procedure."
I want to cry!
But these antidepressants have made me pretty numb.
It's awful to really really want to cry but you can't!!!!
I told a few friends I wanted to write letters to those close to me, ya know, just in case, and they all said absoluelty not! Not to waste any energy on sitting there thonking about the what if's.
I guess those close to me know exaclty how I feel!
But it didn;t stop me from journaling in both of the boys journals!
I had to tell them I love them!
Now trying to ease my anxiety by writing. Not really working! So I am just gonna try to get some sleep!
Everything is gonna be alright. Bob Marley said it well!
(Repeat)
xo Love the life I live...right?!?!?!
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