Day 4

Day 4

What a day!
It was actually a very powerful day!!!
Woke up and felt wasted. Sooo tired!
Groggy as heck!
Mason is having sleeping issues and the only thing that makes him content is your truly!
Last night...2:30am....WWWAAAAHHHHHH!
Lord...Really?
"Ugh"...as I hit Anthony.
"Aren't you gonna get him?"
He gets up.
Tries a bottle. WWAHHH
Changes diaper. WWWAAAAHHHH
What the H is going on?
WWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
I get up.
Hold him.
Crying stops.
Put him in his crib. WAAAAAAAHHHHH
Pick him up and rock him.
Crying stops.
Lil man just wanted to lay on my chest.
Snugglebug!
He needed it.
And he knew I needed it.
Ugh I love him!
I held him until 4:30 am.
He was deep asleep.
So that's why I am a walking zombie holding a coffee cup.
Then Nikki calls.
"Come to the beach."
"Nah, nit in the mood."
"Come to the beach!"
"FIIINNNNEEEE!"
Sooo glad I went.
Boys burnt some steam and had a blast!
I got some sun and fresh air and much needed girl talk and time.

Came home.
Checked Facebook, CaringBridge, and Blog!

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
UNBELIEVABLE!
I AM OVERWHELMED!!!!!!!!!!! (Keep using that word but nothin can compete in the thesaurus!)
This is mind blowing and crazy, this is beautiful, this is powerful, this is..........
PURE
LOVE
&
KICK ASS HUMANITY!!!!!

I cry.
I laugh.
I have butterflies and goosebumps from memories!
My family and friends know how to make me feel like a GODDESS! =)
They are more than I could ever ask for and don't deserve such praise and recognition!
I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!

I can't believe two days ago I was complaining about how much my phone was blowin up.
That was Crazy Lady Jessica for a second.
We may see her around once and awhile.
Maybe I should give her a name so I can tell her to behave herself when she acts up and give her a time-out.
Let me ponder that....

I LOVE MY LIFE!
I LOVE MY SUPPORT SYSTEM!
Damn I am loved and I can feel it!
So stoked for myself! lol!

After ignoring my kids for 20 minutes too long, I get off the computer.
Micah just drop kicked Mason in the face.
Time out #678 for this 3 year old today!

2:00pm
Have another healing session with Ms. Amazing herself.
Bobbilicious!
Ms. B.
This time I laid in my bed.
Meditation.
Closed my eyes.
Holy shizza what's that?
My cancer felt like it was burning. It REALLY hurts!
Pain came and went for 10 minutes. Not even kidding!
Then nothing.
I called her back.
Told her I felt it.
Something.
Sweet Jesus that was crazy!

Then two exercises.

1-Forgiveness
"You cannot heal completely with out letting negative energy and resentments and thoughts go. Forgive others as well as yourself."
She walked me through the exercise and I felt it melt away.
I felt lighter.
I felt myself letting go.

2- Gratitude
I opened my eyes and looked around....i could see!
I put my foot on the ground and took a step...i could walk!
I felt love and support.
I have a family that loves me.
I have friends that lift me.
I have two boys who adore me.
I feel.
I have emotions.
I am married to my soulmate.
I know how to dance...even though my hubby told me last week I dance better when I'm drunk!
I can sing and dang it I do it pretty well.
I AM ALIVE, WHOLE AND PERFECT just the way I am!
I had tears staining my face!

Ms. B asked if I got anything from the exercises.
I could barley speak and yes was all I could utter.

Hung up and felt as high as a Dave Mathews concert goer after a couple of those "magic" brownies....not that I would know much about that.

Hey isn't there medicinal marijuana legal for cancer patients?! HMMM Side note there!

The power of thought and positivity.
The law of attraction.

Then mall, and sushi with all 3 of my boys!
My little Asian Micah Man is getting pretty good with those chopsticks! =)

8:30pm
Ant put kiddos to bed. Thanks baby daddy!
Another healing sesh with the Ms. B.

This time felt nothing.
Mind won't shut up cuz tomorrow we meet with the surgeon! Eeekkk!
After 17 min of meditation I call her.
She felt it this time.
Her hands her red and in pain from all of the energy!
What can I say I need a lot of energy to keep up with me! ;)

I told her how grateful I was for her taking the time to do this and that is is transforming my life as well as those around me.
My Grandma Pat called today and after our quick convo she said she called to lift me up but in turn I had lifted her.
I had told her about how the exercises had gone earlier with Ms. B.

Funny how inspiration and love is easily passed on!

Well here I am.
Once again late and not tired...AT ALL!
Trouble with that is I may just need to suck down some more Tylenol PM!
Or another bottle of wine! lol!

So....

Cheers to you,
Cheers to me,
And have a smile,
Thanks to Ms. B!


Love PEACE & chicken grease!

xo
Night!