Day 3

Day 3

What day is it?
Where am I?
What's going on?
My brain won't shut up!
Anxiety.
Slight panic.
Maybe this really isn't real!
Can you get false-positives from biopsies?
I can't be alone.
Who can I hang out with?
Yesterday I went to Lainy's then left and went straight to Nikki's.
Today I went to Meghan's then straight to Jenise's.
Kids can play and I don't have to entertain them.
I don't have the energy or mental capacity to do that today!
So many opinions, books to read, websites to look at, survivors to talk to........
It's ALOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OVERWHELMED!

Only cried twice today though.
It's always when I think and talk about Micah and Mason and how this will and could affect them.
I am putting those thoughts away.
In then right out!
It's normal to have fear but at the same time why because I know this is gonna be just fine!!!!

I have a great friend whose mother is a healer and channels energy.
I had a session with her tonight.
She channeled energy while I sat and meditated.

First I had a million things go through my head.
Dragons, squares, eyeballs, lights... the usual. lol!
Then I felt it.
My chest got heavy.
I felt pressure in my shoulders.
It was hard to breathe kind of like I just snowboarded down a black diamond in Colorado.
CRAZY.
I went with it and just continued to meditate.
Allowing positive energy to enter my thoughts and body.
Peace, love, happiness filled my being.
Afterward we talked for awhile.
"Push fear away. Let it enter then make it leave."
"Tell yourself, 'I am of perfect health and am grateful for that blessing.'"
She said be healthy. Act and think healthy.

We will have more sessions.
It was great.

K
Brain hurts.
Is it Friday yet?
Set up CaringBridge and updated Blog.
I FEEL THE LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3