Day 2

Day 2

Tuesday.
Known 24 hours that my body is infested.
I don't wanna write.
I don't wanna talk anymore.
I don't wanna text anymore.
I don't wanna check my email anymore.
I know I need to eat better...exercise more...stop drinking...be positive...smile...
But I NEED THIS TO SINK IN 1ST!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am surrounded by love and support and there are already 6 prayer chains....that I know of...but today was rough.
I am allowed to feel this way right?
I write and the pen and paper seem like my only confidants right now.
I am sick of telling a million people whats wrong.
I should feel happy about this right now but this cancer is more than a full time job!
I didn't sign up for this!
I still don't think I have cancer.
It's just a word some Dr. said.
It's NOT REAL!
I feel detached from reality.
This is who I felt when my parents got divorced when I was 15.
Someone elses reality.
"Hi there crazy lady. How you feeling today?"
"Well not quite sure? How bout you?"
Oh maybe that multiple personalities! lol
Anyway...
Sorry for the tangent....
I'm back!
Hi!

My boob hurts!

How do I keep patience with the kiddos?
I spanked Micah on the tush today.
I just let Mason cry in his crib for awhile today.
I needed a time-out!
I feel like a bad mom!

Got some cards and flowers today!
Maybe it is sinking in a little!?

K

Ant's home!

Gonna vent to him a bit!

Night!