Day 39

Day 39

Slept last night finally!
yay!
Feelin like a new day, a new chance to smile, a new attitude has come into my life!
Still tired but better than yesterday by far!
It's hour by hour!
Took a nap next to my Micah Man.
Watched him sleep.
I used to think that was a creepy thing to do but now it's one of my fav things in the world!
Such sweet innocence on a sleeping child's face.
Melts me to the core!
Tonight my friend Liz set up a Santa photo shoot benefit for me at a local farmers market.
People pay $20 to take a pic with Santa and then they can order prints and cards from her. $20 goes to my medical bills and she gets business in the process...Double Whammy! =)
We went to get some pics done.
Micah was stoked.
Mason freaked and bawled.
Super scared of the man behind the beard! lol
I swear all babies hate Santa!
Can't wait to see how the pics turned out.

Then we took a trip to Whole Foods.
This is when my day turned sour!
I was checkin out the "fake" cheese section and saw a lady picking up some vegan rice cheese.
I ask, "Is that actually good?"
"It's great! My kids love it! Are you vegan?"
"Just started about a month ago! It's pretty hard but it's going pretty good so far!"
"Why did you switch?"
"I was diagnosed with breast cancer and immediately changed my diet to no dairy and no meat!"
"Good for you! have you ever heard of Hippocrates?"

In fact I had.
It is a naturalistic healing center in West Palm Beach I have been meaning to go visit.
I have heard amazing things about it!
I tell this woman all of this and that I had started chemo on Monday and she was appalled!
I can usually let what people say slide off my back but she got right underneath my skin and stabbed my heart with her words.
I was so sad!
"YOU NEED TO STOP CHEMO!!! Everyone I have known that did chemo is no longer here. You NEED to go to this place and do a tour! STOP CHEMO!! My husband is a Dr. and I know it's a valid business but listen to me! I would NEVER do chemo!"

And on and on she went...
She kept stalking me through the isles of the grocery store.
I had to leave without finishing my list!
I paid, brought my bags to the car, loaded this kids in their seats, got in the front seat and....LOST IT!!!!!!

Crying soooo hard I was hyperventilating!

Then an angel answered my prayers and my brother called me! He talked me out of my stupor and told me that lady was a #%$&%^ moron!
Not very nice but made me feel better! lol!

I had been warned people were going to say things and I have dealt with many people advice and opinions but she cut me to the core!
I felt like she told me, you are going to die because you are choosing to do chemo!
It felt awful!
the what if's came floating back!

But as if God knew I needed some lovin, Micah and Mason both wanted to wrestle and snugglebug with me before bed!
So I am off to dream land with smiles and warm thoughts of my boys and that if the world ended tonight, I would die one HAPPY MOMMY!!!

xo