Day 20

Day 20

A day of celebrating life!
My last hoorah before chemo!
Drank belini's with brunch and kept cheersing all day till the wee hours of the night!
Finished the evening by singing Let it Be by The Beatles with Kristina and Val at the tops of our lungs in the kitchen!
Friends let my heart soar!
Release me from stress!
Ease my soul!
Then everyone but Val and I went to sleep.
Val broke down.
Tears came.
Fears came.
I realize for the first time that there are times where this is just as hard and maybe even harder for those close to me.
It makes me feel good that she is crying because it shows me how much she loves me but at the same time my heart breaks a little!
I feel like I should cry.
I can't.
It's a weird feeling.
I feel like that a lot actually.
Like I should cry.
Like it's politically correct.
Like if I don't people will think I am cold and not feel connected.
Is that strange?
I just feel strong most of the time.
I mean don't get me wrong...I definitely have my moments when I can't stop it from spewing out of me.
But the prayers must be working.
I feel pretty good most of the time.
Thanks to all of my friends, family, and those I have never even met for the ease you are bringing to my mind.
Now I pray for my friends and family to have peace.
Good night!